Are you sick and tired of celebrating the same old winter holidays?
Do you belong to a diverse group of individuals who all celebrate different gift-giving December holidays?
Are you sick and tired of having different Christmas/Chanukah/Solstice/Kwanzaa/Tom Waits’ birthday celebrations?
Do you just flat out love bacon?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are soooo in luck. There is a holiday just for you.
Bacon Day is a fairly easy holiday to celebrate. Since it is only a few years old, (three, in fact), there aren’t as many established traditions as let’s say, Passover has. There are a few, however.
The 4 Commandments of Bacon Day
1.)Thou shalt eat much bacon, both in variety and in quality. If it says bacon on the package, it shalt be consumed by thou on Bacon Day.
2.) Thou shall watch movie starring Kevin Bacon, movies with Bacon in the title, (ex. Canadian Bacon), or movies about Bacon and preprocessed Bacon (Babe, etc..)
3.)Thou must invite to thine gala as many people as you know. Thou must also encourage them to invite people, for meeting new people is one of the most important parts of Bacon Day.
4.) Thou must get at least one person a gift on Bacon Day.
Other traditions include (but are not limited to):
Playing loud and diverse music, to expand your musical horizon and make everyone happy.
Spirituous beverages may be served on Bacon Day.
Dressing up as your favorite pork product.
Sneaking a kiss under the pork fat mistletoe.
Taunting Vegetarian and Vegans.
Congregating to toast Bacon and Bacon Day.
E-mailing everyone you know, wishing them a very happy Bacon Day.
And, of course,
Receiving strange looks when telling the uninitiated about Bacon Day.
HAPPY BACON DAY!